Have I cleaned up my act?

OK, I admit that my approach was designed to generate a little heat. These Canadians are so nice that I can’t help but push a bit to see if I can get a rise out of them.

Wrong, dumb, evil, mean-spirited . . . yet, somehow so American! Don’t you agree?

Anyway, the advertising invites visitors to enjoy “free wi-fi” and (technically) only requires that one bring his or her own laptop to the party. There’s no explicit mention of any prerequisite purchase of coffee or that a load of laundry be included in the deal.

That’s right, laundry and laptops in the same commercial message. This place, Sips & Suds offers Internet connectivity for patrons who hate just sitting and watching their clothes tumbling in the dryer.

Since I’m having a little trouble with my own connectivity here in Canada, I thought I’d drop by to test the waters, so to speak.

I walked in to the nearly empty establishment and opened with a provocative question: “Is this the place with the free wi-fi connection.”

Sometimes an unambiguous question generates more doubt and confusion than one that is more convoluted. After all, the web site clearly says: “Use one of our high-speed terminals for $3.00 an hour, or bring your laptop and connect to our network for free.”

As I have observed to be the case in other contexts, my question aroused suspicion – and put the nice lady behind the counter on the defensive.

“Well, yes,” she replied. But there was something about the way she spoke that suggested a “But…” in the next sentence.

Canadians, however, are far less likely to jump right to the “but.” They seem a bit more trusting and quite a bit more polite and willing to bide their time before deciding they’re in a fight.

“Are you going to do some laundry?”

It was a question, not a demand or accusation. Just a question that, if answered in the affirmative, would put an immediate end to the controversy.

As a true-blue Yank, I – of course – refused to give a straight answer.

“Your ad says, ‘free wi-fi,’” I countered. “Doesn’t free mean no obligation to pay?”

After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, I decided to hit the “off” button before our conversation went into the spin cycle.

“What if I buy a cup of coffee,” I suggested. “Won’t that qualify me as a customer and get me some free wi-fi?”

My hostess quickly agreed and I attempted to make up for my cruel experiment by taking a large coffee and turning down the offer for “double-cupping” and of a plastic lid.

We spoke in friendly tones for a few minutes. I learned that college students occasionally took advantage of the wireless connection and, when the place was busy, may have actually discouraged paying customers from dropping in.

From a comfortable perch beside the window, I took a look at Sips & Suds and developed an appreciation for what the owners have done.

They opted to pay for mo
re space than necessary, creating a quite open and inviting atmosphere. And they invested in decorations and furniture that makes it very clear that this isn’t the traditional coin-op laundry operation.

A bit more than an hour later, I’ve watched business pick up a bit, but the machines are fairly quiet and acoustic tiles in the drop ceiling absorb much of the noise. It doesn’t seem to have become hotter or moister.

Of course those three kids that usually turn up whenever I’m using a Laundromat could easily destroy this positive ambiance. They probably live in that apartment tower across the street and will be over later.

I’ve been fortunately independent of Laundromats for a number of years. If I ever return to that lifestyle, I’d consider myself fortunate if I found a spot like Sips & Suds nearby.