Other People’s Memories -- A guide to non-linear living

Memory is like a door that allows entry into many wonderful places.

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over,,,

Memories provide much more than static windows into the past; by tapping other people’s memories (OPM), we can fill in gaps and find new meaning for past events and answers to questions that our own life experiences just can’t provide.

My favorite discoveries while exploring OPM are new sources of joy. Joy has become my most valued emotion and I’ve seen it in the eyes of dozens of people whom I’ve met along the road – and joyful experiences are among the most meaningful to me.

Other valuable insights are gained, of course, when people share unpleasant memories. I have heard many tales of woe – from those who have lost loved ones, suffered through war and other privations and who have had to deal with incredible pain and discomfort – their own and that of loved ones.

What’s the point?

Well, this morning I had a rather unpleasant exchange with a fellow with whom I had breakfast. As usual, I was responsible for at least half of the problem.

I had attempted to engage three men in conversation, as has been my custom on this trip. One of the three seemed to want to sort of dominate the situation. Even when I directed questions to the others, he interrupted and interjected his own answers – which were curt and rather condescending.

When he finally challenged my ability to comprehend – asking, “How old are you?” – I struck back. My counterattack was fairly mild – along the lines of, “You are being rude.”

Later, after this domineering fellow left, both of the others were quite friendly – perhaps not wishing to dispute their colleague in his presence, but wishing to make amends after he left.

And the point is…

It’s often difficult to break through barriers that most people construct to protect their privacy. Occasionally, the process is unpleasant enough to make one wonder whether it’s worth the effort. But my experience – which has involved invading the dinner tables of hundreds of folks who rather like things to be predictable – makes me a strong advocate of taking that kind of chance.

Most of the time, I’m made to feel quite welcome; and most of the rest of the time, I win the others over and we end up making some kind of meeting of the minds.

So, despite the fact that it occastionally gets bitten, sticking your nose into other people’s business usually opens doors…