Retracing footsteps

I have been a rover
I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred highways
Never found a home
Still in all I'm happy
The reason is, you see
Once in a while along the way
Love's been good to me

        -- Rod McKuen

Sometimes, things work out so well in the aftermath of a mistake that I wonder whether planning is such a good idea. Maybe leaving things up to good old serendipity would lead to better outcomes.

Leaving El Paso two days early – I failed to check my actual itinerary and simply left town after the usual 5-day stay (failing to recognize that, for some reason or other, I was slated to stay two more days).

I pulled into to Las Cruces at about noon. This was to have been one of my shortest drives since day one when I traveled a mere 70 miles north to Lodi. I reported to the office and was greeted by confused looks – “I think you’re early.”

Well, a quick check in my notebook revealed my gaffe and I apologized for creating the confusion. I really didn’t want to backtrack to Las Cruces and mentioned the possibility of heading north to spend a couple of nights in Albuquerque.

In typical fashion, my not-yet-but-soon-to-be hosts looked out for my welfare and offered to call the corporate facility in the Duke City to see if I could hang out there for a couple of nights.

Sure enough, they said “come on up!” and I was on my way back in time.

I lived in Albuquerque three times. The first, I ended up with a son; the second, I got my first computer; and the third provided me with a new lease on life that most certainly shaped my future for the succeeding 20 years or so.

My little family of three first moved to Albuquerque in 1978. We had been living in Page, Arizona, where the overt prejudice against Native Americans was so unpleasant that it made staying there pretty impossible.

There were a number of other dynamics at play, of course. My marriage was failing – in part, because we had moved so often, in pursuit of my career. And, despite having made significant gains in earnings and having had some good success in building the programs I led, I was not very happy in my work.

After being rejected by a west coast university (I had too few years of work experience for their liking), I was accepted into the Ph.D. program at the University of New Mexico and we made our fourth major move in four years.

Albuquerque was closer to my wife’s roots. She actually lived there for a while as a child and most of her family was just 250 miles north, on the other side of the Raton Pass. Daughter Lisa was becoming involved in gymnastics and son Jesse was enroute.

When Jesse was born, early in 1978, I found myself in a rare state of contentment. It was fairly short-lived; we soon hit the road again – this time for Northern Michigan. But, a year later, we returned to Albuquerque so I could complete two last courses before beginning my dissertation.

Well, that schedule fell apart due to illness. I had to drop out of school and that led to a move back to California and a return to work. I lost my chance for a life in academia and soon lost my family – though we’ve managed to work together and hopefully have provided Lisa and Jesse with most of the benefits of having parents.

When my second-chance at marital happiness went into jeopardy about ten years later, I retreated alone to Albuquerque to clear my head and make decisions about the future.

My second wife, Carol, fought to save our marriage and literally came to Albuquerque to get me back on track. She brought Jesse along and the two of them convinced me that I was in danger of losing a very good thing; and that led to a decade of happiness that I almost missed.

Driving along Central Avenue yesterday reminded me of my three stints as a citizen. The city is filled with familiar sites and brought hundreds of memories to mind. Much has changed, of course, since I first arrived there in 1977; but most landmarks remain in place.

New Mexico is called the Land of Enchantment. It’s known by many people for the annual balloon festival. Like a hot air balloon, I have followed a path determined by the prevailing winds. I’ve been blown off course a number of times, usually leading to positive adventures that left me without regrets.

Albuquerque, like other landing spots, provided me with new experiences – some of which generated a bit of wisdom. My return visit this week – perhaps the most unlikely and spontaneous of all – allowed me to touch the past, inspect some roots, reconsider choices and, of course, get in touch with what I’ve had, lost, gained and may yet have.

This unplanned detour seems to have been a good thing.